Patch Sprint Holds Historic Elections

Jan. 30, 2005, Willsboro, NY - The Patch Sprint was successful this past weekend in holding its first elections in years.   Sandra Solomon will serve as Race Director following her landslide victory over former US Secretary of State Colin Powell.  Powell had stepped down as US Secretary of State in hopes of attaining a position as Patch Sprint Race Director, but was ultimately done in by lack of experience.

Since its inception in 1996, the Patch Sprint has been plagued by rumors of tyrannical rule, mismanagement, ineptitude, and downright "suckiness" by neutral third parties and casual observers.  Such a reputation caused Pok-O-MacCready owner-with-a-mandate Jack Swan to topple the corrupt dictators Tim Singer and Greg Henderson and remove them from power.

Singer and Henderson disappeared for a brief period of time, but were discovered only months ago hiding out in the "Bear's Den" at the Pok-O-MacCready confidence course.  Surrounded by empty cans of Spam, the two were taken into custody and held for questioning at an undisclosed location - most likely the Pok-O-Queen.

Voters traveled from far and wide to vote in the historic Patch Sprint elections

Since their capture, Swan has been active in promoting free elections for the Patch Sprint, an event that has helped donate more than $2500 to the Adirondack Scholarship Foundation over the course of five years.  Despite ongoing criticism, Swan's efforts to hold elections finally paid off this weekend. "Oh my God," says Swan, "I've got fire in my belly and jazz in my feet.  This day is as historic as General John Burgoyne's capture of Fort Ticoderoga."  Swan then continued for the good part of an hour describing Burgoyne's journey from Canada southward.

Solomon will be officially sworn in at a ceremony next month.  Three or four people are expected to attend.  The election proves the Patch Sprint is headed in the right direction, and will be well prepared for the big event on May 28, 2005 - Memorial Day Weekend.  Ms. Solomon has already promised this year's installment of the Patch Sprint will include the following:

*A carbo-load dinner and expo on Friday, May 27 *Official event T-shirts *Several divisions with varying start times on Saturday, May 28 *Aid stations along the course *A fun finish on top of Pok-O-Moonshine *Awards,  prizes, and raffles *A  post-race dinner, including a slide show from the day

Burgoyne - How about that guy?

All the newly elected officers hope you, your friends, and families will attend the Patch Sprint Memorial Day Weekend.  Whether you want to participate, spectate, or just come for the party, we would love to see you there.   For more information and to register, please go to www.patchsprint.com.