Jerry Bruckheimer Announces Plot of "Patch Sprint: Race to Save the World"

Jerry Bruckheimer has announced plans to tap into the cinematic genius of Director Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, The Rock), to Direct the new film about the Patch Sprint.  Mr. Bay has already said he plans on taking "plenty of literary license" with the story of the great Adirondack Adventure Race.

According to Mr. Bay, the film will chronicle the journey of Byron Rabideau, an aging down-on-his-luck ex-jockey from Saratoga Springs who decides to get his stride back by entering the "Equine" Division of the Patch Sprint.  The actual Patch Sprint does not allow horses to compete, though there is a "Clydesdale" division..

Tender moments like this will be rare in a movie with huge, meaningless explosions.

At first, Rabideau is ridiculed relentlessly by everyone else at the Patch Sprint because he is very short and maybe just a little bit chubby (Danny DeVito is rumored to have interest in the part).  Everything changes, however, when Rabideau uncovers a plot by would-be terrorists planning to use the fire tower atop Pok-O-Moonshine as a launching pad for a nuclear warhead aimed at New York City.

Danny DeVito: lover of  horses

In a mad dash against time, Rabideau and his horse battle killer grizzly bears on Bare Mountain, poisonous serpents guarding an ancient undiscovered North Country secret atop Rattlesnake (you won't believe it!), an irate genetic anomaly known as "Blue Boar" who guards the summit of Sugarloaf, and, of course, crazed terrorists bent on world domination atop Pok-O-Moonshine.

You can bet there'll be plenty of huge, meaningless explosions like this one.

Along the tumultuous journey, Rabideau manages to fall in love with a pissed-off-and-eternally-bitter riding instructor when, in a moment of tenderness along the road behind Sugarloaf, the two find they have more in common than originally thought (insider secret: as children, they both grew close to horses due to fear of human rejection).   They make love in the Northway Tunnel, his horse waiting impatiently in the swamp all the while.  It is unknown whether any actual participants have ever made love in the Northway Tunnel during the Patch Sprint.

Tunnel of Love?

We won't give away the ending here, but we are assured there will be plenty of explosions and some unfortunate collateral damage.  Filming is set to begin on Friday, May 26 2006 on location in Willsboro, NY.   All are invited and encouraged to attend.  Register NOW for your chance to participate in this wonderful weekend!

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