TALES OF WOE LOST, INJURED and CONTROVERSIAL PATCH SPRINTERS

You think the Patch Sprint is easy?  Think again.

1986:  In the first ever attempt at the Patch in a Day, Jody Edwards gets lost attempting a shortcut up the cliffs on Sugarloaf.  The result:  a scorching case of poison ivy that, to this day, leaves Edwards in fear of straying off trail.  Edwards and Bobby Browning eventually reached Pok-O-Moonshine to complete the first Patch marathon.

Ivy Edwards

Skip with Snake

1996:  The year that the Patch was first attempted by time.  Tim Singer, running down Sugarloaf alongside Greg Henderson gets bitten by a rattlesnake (right).  “I guess it was on the wrong mountain,” said Singer of the snake.  “I didn’t come across any loaves of sugar on Rattlesnake, by the way.”  Singer, with a bloody leg, and Henderson top out on Pok-O in a time of 3:14:08

1997: Jay Fiegl, in his first ever Patch Sprint attempt, guides the lead pack down the back side of Bare.  “Bloody Hell!  It was way in the back side,” stated racer Tom Edwards.  Countered Fiegl:  “I had this groovy route all figured out, man.  It just didn’t take.”  Fiegl, Edwards and two others manage to set a course record but, according to Edwards, “it would have been a lot faster if we hadn’t gone through Reber.” 1999: Volunteer Sherpa Augusta Wilson gets lost…. Going up the trail on Pok-O!  Enough said. 2000: Drew Canning passes on the aid station supplies of energy gel, Kobakathon RX2000 and fruit, in favor of mozzarella sticks, Swiss Cake Rolls and Mountain Dew.  He limps to the finish 54 minutes after the second-to-last finisher. 2001: In a display of both athleticism and creativity, Canadian Amber Taylor, competitor in the relay division, swims from the base of Rattlesnake to the base of Sugarloaf.  Unfortunately, her teammate gets lost trying to locate the shoreline rendezvous, and the team eventually receives a DNF. 2002: Brian Roddiger figures the fastest way to get up Pok-O is to “take the direct line up the 5.11 Catharsis route.”  He hasn’t been heard or seen from since.  Also, fellow Missourian Brian Keller announces “I’m gonna ‘shwack down the side of the Snake.”  He hasn’t been heard or seen from since.

2003:  Phil Maher becomes the first of many racers over the years to “make that wrong turn going down Bare."  Maher winds up on a road “either in Willsboro or Reber; not sure which," where he catches a ride and “Rosie Ruiz’ed it to the Pok-O-Moonshine trailhead.”                                                          Maher in Car

2004: Competing in July’s “Patch Sprint South” in Wilmington, NC, Carrie Howard Canning builds up a huge lead and arrives at the finish line some 11 minutes before runner-up Amy Daley Kobak.  It was only then revealed that Canning had veered off-course, shortening the route by some two miles.  “What can I say?  It was 103 degrees out!”  Daley-Kobak was awarded the victory.

2005:  After spending the better part of the spring trash talking his Kindersprint competition, Jackson Konowitz, 3, lasts only 175 yards up the trail before climbing onto his father’s back.  A resulting  three year suspension has recently been lifted.  Reached for comment late last week, Konowitz stated “I’m back in the race this year and Zimmerman, Lounsbury and Canning are dead meat.” Inaction Jackson

2005:  In the most blatant example of flouting the Patch rules to date, veteran trekkers Phil Corell and Bob Heins paddle a boat across Long Pond.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” says Corell, after being spotted by some other honest racers.  Following a lengthy court battle, the duo had their finish time recognized, due to vague wording in the Patch Sprint rules page.

The Philly C stroke

2006: Another Patch Sprint rule brought into question.  Winter Sprint:  Jason Fiegl sets a new course record.  However, the other winter racers file a complaint stating that “Fiegl was not accompanied on every mountain, as the rules mandate.”  To date, the case is still pending.  Also that year, Eric Bauer became a winter 46er. 2007: Cole Starkey is an unknown entrant from Pennsylvania.  Yet, by the time the racers head from Rattlesnake to Sugarloaf, it's clear he is the class of the field.  “He said to me, ‘I’m just gonna race up ahead a bit’,” said eventual race champion Jim Kobak.  Next thing Kobak knows, Starkey is out of sight.  And for good reason.  He misses the turn to Sugarloaf and went nearly a mile beyond.  In the end, Starkey still finishes the race in impressive fashion:  2:47:55; 7th overall.

2008 Division Breakdown (as of 3/26) OPEN MALE – 11 TREKKER – 9 VOLUNTEER – 6 MEN’S MASTERS – 5 DONOR - 4 OPEN FEMALE –3 CLYDESDALE - 1

Cautionary tales?  Perhaps.  But if racers and trekkers simply read the RACE RULES and study the MAPS, they should have little trouble having a successful and enjoyable Patch Sprint, May 24, 2008.  After all, 96% of all starters through the years have finished.

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