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“The Patchpocalypse is nigh! It has been described by the Birch Bark Book of Revelation. A series of apocalyptic events has unfolded, including:
- Massive flooding (Beaver Swamp),
- The construction of a tremendous craven monolith (the CRUX),
- The demise of the chosen one (Fiegl's injury)
- And the rise of the prodigal, young Antifiegl (Joe Z.)
All of these signs can only be the Revelation that the end of days is upon us. And, the newly uncovered ancient Pre-Camp Calendar points to an Armageddon event on ‘May 29th of the year that Squeaky reaches a half-century.’ Mortals will either rise to Salvation at the summit of Poko-moonshine on that day, or will surely meet their doom on the back side of Sugarloaf.... be safe, enter the Patch Sprint NOW!”
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